Letter From Davos
(satire) By Stephen J. Gray
“Davos people control virtually all international institutions, many of the world’s governments, and the bulk of the world’s economic and military capabilities.”
Samuel P. Huntington
Dear Serfs, oops, I mean Taxpayers, just a little note to let you all know how we are doing in Davos. We are doing everybody we can think of, and you suckers twice, just kidding of course, what’s the good of it all if one cannot joke? Anyway all the jokers are here, pardon me, I mean the “international community” is here and many “eminent persons.” We have political leaders, bankers, financiers, communists, capitalists everybody who is any body is here. It truly is a gathering of the “great” and as you people cannot participate I thought it best to give you an update on our wonderful economic forum. Some of us are discussing the financial crisis and how to fix it, and might I say who better to do this than those of us who caused it in the first place. Did I just admit financial malfeasance in that statement? Surely not, anyway you know what I mean. Who better to fix a problem than those who caused the problem? Does that sound better, oh well, what the heck let’s just carry on with the rest of my letter. The bad news is people in many countries are suffering from austerity imposed by the unelected International Moneychangers Fund (IMF), which of course is funded by your tax dollars. But the good news is; there is no austerity in Davos. We are having black tie dinners the food is scrumptious, the drinks are excellent, the hotels luxurious and everybody is having a marvellous time, and important contacts are being made. In fact, the many politicians here are surely hoping that when their political careers are over there will be jobs for them in our financial world order. I like that old saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours,” and there is plenty of scratching going on here, and plenty of scratch, oops I mean money on view.
The skiing here is fantastic and I am sure all the fixers, flunkeys, lackeys, yes men, press agents and assorted helpers of the great ones here will get some time in on the ski slopes. The entourages, paid for by your tax dollars, are surely entitled to a few perks. I read in one news report that one political leader had “…arrived Wednesday morning alongside about 40 staff members and a fleet of 20 vehicles.” I am sure when he gets back home he will tell you that everybody is “entitled to their entitlements.”
In closing I would like to say to all you serfs, pardon me, I mean taxpayers. Do not despair, we are thinking of you in all our discussions. You people are the backbone of society. But, society needs us also to run the system. We are the movers and shakers of the world. We finance the wars that help bring “democracy.” We bank dictators’ money for them. Sell them arms to suppress their own people. Then remove them from power when we have another stooge waiting in the wings to take over. We launder drug money in some of our banks. We speculate on the food system and on oil and other commodities, and if we need money to bail us out, you taxpayers are always available courtesy of your puppet politicians. So you see the system is in our good hands but we thank you for your participation in it. In closing, I say God Bless “democracy,” offshore tax havens and Davos where we all meet for the betterment of society
Stephen J. Gray
January 26, 2012.